I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
