i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
