When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize