We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
