I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
