I bet he comes in French.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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