I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
