Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
