i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
