So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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