trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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