In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
