i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
