So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just high enough for therapy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize