Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
