let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
