I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
