tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
