I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
