It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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