I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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