Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
