so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
