I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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