You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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