If i come over, it means nothing
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
