their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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