i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
