i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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