I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
