The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
