She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
