Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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