matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
