i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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