I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
