That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize