do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
