why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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