I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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