even my farts smell like vagina
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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