Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
organizing the empties. That sober.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
