is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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