"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
