Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
