I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
