Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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