My brain says no but my pants say off.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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