Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
