I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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