Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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