if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
