We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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