I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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