Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
