I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
