just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How's work?
Spinning.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
