Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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