She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize