Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
