My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
