I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
