Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
