I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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