I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
