bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
