R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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