Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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